Therefore I am Yours | Billie Eilish - Watty Awards 2022

80. JUST THE TWO OF US

Billie POV

"No, Billie. You don't and now stop assuming everything will be okay. You just need to stop acting without thinking about the consequences, no matter where or when!" She yells again, having me only stand there with anger and maybe a little bit of regret written all over my face.

"Mom. Stop, okay."

"No! Billie, how else am I going to teach you? You need to be yelled at to understand 'cause you don't even try to take the blame-"

"Whoa whoa whoa! What on earth is going on in here?" Someone says from behind me, interrupting my mom.

I turn around and my eyes quickly feast on my Dad who is standing by the door of the Bus with his arms thrown up in the air.

"Ask her!" I tell him, pointing to his wife.

"In case you didn't already know, your daughter went to some guys' house without telling anyone. Not me, not anyone of the team. No one." She answers, leaning forward to make him look at her.

This is her method of making him belive what she says and making it clear that she is right.

I mean, she somewhat is right but they need to understand that I am not Little Billie anymore. I can think and especially act for myself.
I have a proper working brain and as much as they don't want to trust me on things, they need to.

"I told Finneas, that's enough!" I yell back at her, my dad still trying to realize what's really going on.

"No! No, it's not and you know that!"

"Alright." I breathe.
"I'm out." I say, and with that, I throw my hand up in the air and leave the bus.

My mom is visibly overreacting. Fuck them, fuck everything, honestly.

After exiting the tour bus, I fastly make my way over to the green room backstage of the Arena for tonight. I'm just going to wait in there until my Mom's calmed down.

I luckily reach the room without being seen by anyone and as I'm about to turn the handle, my phone vibrates in my pants, signaling an incoming call.

It's Jordan. Oh no. I hope my mom didn't call her like she indicated.

I take a deep breath and swipe the green dot, holding the phone up to my ear right after.

"Hey, Baby. What's up?" I ask, trying to sound sweet.

"Hi Bil. I just wanted to check on you and hear your voice. I miss you." She groans.

Thanks to the mothefucking lord she doesn't know. She would be devastated.

"I miss you too."

"Okay, what's wrong? I can hear in your voice that you're not happy."

"Oh- No. I- I am. What do you mean?" I chuckle while mentally slapping myself.

"Billie. What do you mean 'what do you mean'? I know you. Come on." Jordan says.

I think for a second before answering.

"Everything is good, I promise. I just need to go on stage in a few minutes. I wanna sleep though." I lie, hoping I just saved myself.

"Oh, I'm sorry Baby. Just a few hours and you can go to bed. Tell me when you're off, have fun. I love you." Jordan silently speaks, meaning every word.

I don't deserve her. No one does.

"I'm gonna try. Hear you later Babygirl." I say, making a kiss sound before hanging up and falling down backwards onto the couch.

I close my eyes and try to sort my thoughts while calming down a little. I need to be good for the fans.

Jordan POV

Billie's bad mood makes me worry. I'm starting to seriously fuss over this whole touring thing.
This whole industry is starting to break her and It feels like no one is doing anything about it.

I think her idea with the little trip is a good way to forget about all the stress. We could both really need that.

I just hope she's gonna be better once she took a good nap and takes a day off.

For now I am going to be the one going to sleep. I need to rest my mind and find a way to bring my girlfriend back to her calm, happy self.

♛

The loud, blaring sound of my ringtone - Billie's very own ringtone - makes me stir awake from my 'nap' and before my eyes are even halfway open, I accept the call and hear Billie's beautiful voice speak up.

"Oh no, don't tell me I woke you up."

"Don't worry, It's fine. At least I got to hear you again today." I reply, chuckling tiredly.

"What do you mean 'at least'?" Billie asks.

"Well, you were kinda pissed earlier and therefore I didn't think you'd actually remeber to call me." I truthfully say.

"How could I forget? Pff."

"Anyways, what are you doing right now?" I ask, hoping she won't just say "nothing".

"I uhm... just got off stage. Like, literally a second ago and quickly went backstage to call you." She says cutely, sounding like a dork.

"Damn, right away. I'm honored." I laugh sarcastically.
"Now, Baby?" I ask, getting quieter.

"Yes?" She questions, dragging out the word while lowering her voice as well.

"I- I uhm. A few days ago when we face timed to... you know..."

"-Yes?"

"I heard you."

"You... heard me?-"

"And your mom." I cut her off.

"Oh... So you know about the-"

"The trip? Yes. Yes I do and I'm sorry. I should've just hung up or something-"

"No. It's okay I just wanted to surprise you." Billie talks sadly.

"Trust me, Baby, I was surprised." I say honestly.

"Okay then... you're not gonna know where we're going though." I hear her grin. Literally hear.

"Okay then." I smile, nibbling on my fingertip nervously. "I'm excited."

"Good. It's gonna be a good time. Just the two of us."

"Just the two of us." I repeat after her, daydreaming about a beautiful get away under palm trees and cloudless skies.

♛

we're getting closer to the end of the tunnel and NO - i don't mean the end of this book pff... i'm going to be on yall's asses for a little longer.

- i mean out of this CHAOS. my notes are all messed up and i am just trying to get the chapters to make a tiny bit of sense.