Therefore I am Yours | Billie Eilish - Watty Awards 2022

84. IN LOVE WITH MY FUTURE

Jordan POV

Another stupid night has passed.
Another stupid night without happiness.

I don't know what to feel after the phone call yesterday. I don't even feel like trying anymore. She can look after herself now if that's what she wants.

I know, being a literal superstar is hard and can cause mature problems that can cause issues in a personal relationship but I really think Billie could look after me a little more.

I hate myself for wanting her to want me.

Not wanting to shed any more tears, I stand up and make my way into my dad's office. I want to not sit at home all day everyday.
I need to find something that makes me forget about everything else.

Opening the door, I step inside the decently cold room. You can clearly feel that there hasn't been anyone in here for a while.

It looks lifeless. Just like my soul.

I slowly walk over to his big desk, not wanting to make any quick movements, If you understand me.

I take a quick breath and take a seat behind it. His boss-like chair feels really nice. Now I get why he spent so much goddamn money on this thing.

I let myself sink into the soft leather and look ahead, finding his old MacBook. This thing must be around eight years old.
I don't understand why he still works with this thing. How isn't it dead yet?

Okay, enough of his belongings. Let's actually get something done today.

Before I start, I quickly walk back over to the door and close it, not wanting Pamela to interrupt me.

Since my graduation recently, I hadn't looked for any jobs. Nothing at all.
I just always had my dad's help and then I met Billie and forgot about it.

Now it's the perfect time, though.

Okay... what do I like doing?
Well, I had to think about that one for a little bit if I'm being honest.
But then it hit me.

I always enjoyed Fashion pretty much.
When I was younger - a lot younger - I used to watch model shows on the TV and began dressing more individually at an early age.

Maybe I'll find something that suits me.

♛

It's been nearly two hours now and I just got back from the hospital, visiting my dad.
Nothing's changed, by the way.

Pamela drove home with me and now she's in the kitchen cooking some food for us while I continue to look for a job.

When I told her about my plans, she was really surprised but excited. She likes that I start to become more independent and focused on myself.

Don't get me wrong. She loves Billie but she loves me too and wants me to be happy at all times. And right now, that's not the case very often.

"Oh my god!" I yell, stopping to scroll. My fingers are already numb from all the scrolling and klicking.

"What?!" I hear Pamela say, running into the office where I'm sitting with my mouth hanging open.
"Jordan!" She speaks, gathering my attention after I didn't answer.

"Oh! Pam-"

"What happened?"

"I think I found something!" I say excitedly, not actually believing it.

Not a job advertisement, but one from a model agency. They are looking for beginners to model for different brands.

"Really? What is it?" She asks happily, walking around the desk to me after putting the dish towel down.