head over heels

12 ~ let yourself feel

[A/N - honestly this one is a banger. short but slay. we're sorta getting a chance now to see evan in his un repressed state of being which i live for.]

Evan was shaken awake by Willow. He blinked, it was dark outside, but he didn't know what time it was.

"Ethans here," she mumbled, "To pick you up."

Evan sighed, burying his face into Willow's pillow. He didn't want to leave and be dragged back into being a functioning person again.

"I don't want to."

"I told him that, but he's waiting outside."

Evan dragged himself upright, feeling like a zombie.

"What time is it?"

"Nine."

Evan nodded. He gathered his phone, then his discarded glasses. He slid them back onto his nose, the room around him sharpening.

"Thank you Willow."

She grinned, "For your sake, the Willow therapy clinic would like to not have you as a customer again, but the doors are always open."

He smiled, "Weirdo."

"Right back at you."

He shrugged his discarded bag over his shoulders, heading for the door.

"Just so you know," Willow started, "Your face is so puffy I think your best excuse might be that you got stung by a bee."

Evan snorted, "Thank you for the heads up."

Willow smiled, "Bye."

"See you."

He turned, shutting the door behind him. He left as stealthily as he could. He really didn't want to encounter Willow's parents, as lovely as they were.

He stepped out into the front, spotting their car parked outside. Suddenly he paused. Beside Ethan in the front, was Kei. He took a slow breath. It was fine. It wouldn't kill him to be in the same place as someone he maybe liked.

A boy he liked. A boy he did like.

The words tasted like rubber in his mouth, but he let them sit at the forefront of his mind. He liked a boy. There was a boy he liked. He liked Kei. He liked him and he wouldn't deny it any longer.

He didn't have to do anything about it. He just had to let himself feel.

He walked slowly towards the car. It was fine. He was fine. Kei was not Theo.

The front window opened, and Ethan stared, worry clear on his face. "Shit Ev are you okay? Willow's text was really vague."

He shrugged, not really having the energy to make up any elaborate lie. He settled for a halfway truth. "Panic attack."

Understanding dawned in Ethans eyes, "Oh." He knew how bad they were, how bad they had been in the past. He wouldn't press him for details.

Kei looked concerned, his brow furrowed in worry.

Evan let himself feel a small squirm of pleasure at the care in his eyes.

"Evan—" Kei called, "You weren't in chemistry?"

He nodded, getting into the car, he just muttered the same excuse, one that was basically the truth anyways, just excluding some details.

"Panic attack," he just murmured again.

Kei's dark eyes widened. "Are you okay?"

"Now, yeah."

Kei looked relieved, "Okay, good."