head over heels

22 ~ life goes on

[A/N - oh my GOD........... that was the longest week of my life. fuck uni. anyways we are so back. these next chapters have been giving me a true existential crisis i swear to god, i've re-written them like five times over. so like the idiot i am, i ultimately decided to scrap everything i have from now onwards and just re-write future chaps haha. very liberating. so did i just finish writing this chapter a few hours ago? yes... yes i did. and will daily uploads still continue? yes, yes they will.]

Evan's good mood lasted what felt like a record breaking four days. Until Friday, he felt like some poster guy for perfect mental health. Dan's attempts to get at him bounced right off, school work seemed easy, practice went better, he even managed to squeeze in all his tutoring sessions without feeling like he was drowning.

It was like things were finally starting to go right.

That was, until the looming threat of his birthday appeared on the skyline like some alien spaceship primed to take over his psyche with its minions of despair.

"Evan," Riley grumbled as they sat in the cafeteria, "You have to go to your birthday thing this year..."

He chewed on his thumbnail, feeling anxiety bubble in his chest, "Ry, you know Ethans parties aren't really my thing—"

"But you're on the team now," Riley whined, "This is our chance to finally get in with the guys."

Evan just sighed, massaging his eyes in thought. "I dunno," he managed.

Beside them both, Willow piped up, "I mean we can still do movie night at my place."

"Please," Evan said immediately, relief washing over him like a flood.

"No," Riley cut in, sitting up straight, "Evan really, you're on the team now, you can't just keep avoiding them—"

"I'm not avoiding them? I see them everyday—" he tried.

"Yeah but like, you don't talk to them outside of practice like at all?"

"Not true," Evan complained. He even talked to Oliver sometimes now, not to mention Kei. Yeah he didn't talk to the others, but he just didn't want too—

Riley scoffed, "Isn't it?"

Evan paused. He definitely wasn't avoiding Kei, in fact, with every day that passed, they seemed to get closer. The space between them had grown so comfortable, that when they weren't together, Evan was starting to feel slightly lost.

He thought about him all of the time.

It was embarrassing actually.

At this rate he'd be flinging love poetry at the other boy. Well— he would be if he wasn't so painfully aware that he was walking on thin ice. Who knew what'd happen if Kei uncovered more about him. Knew how much he liked him, or uncovered just how fucked his head was sometimes.

The closer he got, the more scared he became.

"Evan?" Riley barked, startling him from his daze.

"Hmm?"

"I said, we're going to your birthday this year." Riley ordered. "I'll drag you there if I have to."

Evan thought about Kei. He wanted him to go too. Kei would be there.

"Maybe," Evan said eventually. Maybe he'd just barricade himself in his room. Hah. He would still be at the party in spirit at least.

Riley buzzed with excitement, his barren answer seemingly enough for her.

Then, as if he'd been summoned by the force of Evans thoughts, he spotted Kei, who broke away from the rest of the volleyball guys to head in Evans direction. The rest of them filtered out of the cafeteria.