Raven: His First Everything

40|Confessions

Cassian's POV

I glanced at her as she kept her back turned to me.

We had been in silence for over ten minutes now.

She likes me.

Raven Castillo actually has feelings for me.

I could barely process it.

My heart hadn't stopped racing since the words left her mouth.

I wanted to say something—anything—to break the silence, but every time I opened my mouth, the words wouldn't come out.

Since the day we started this, I promised myself to forget about being attached to her.

She's cold, she's unpredictable, and she's completely out of my league.

She told me not to catch feelings for her, now she's the one who caught feelings?

I took off the glasses she had gotten me and rubbed my temples.

The glasses were perfect.

They felt comfortable and didn't keep falling off like my last one.

The scratch from my old one happened when I threw my glasses at my door out of frustration.

"I'm a virgin too," she softly muttered suddenly, her back still turned to me.

I froze, my brain scrambling to process what she had just said.

I quickly put back on my glasses, as if that would make me hear clearer.

"Wait, what?"

She didn't turn to face me, but I noticed the way her shoulders stiffened.

"I said what I said," she replied, her voice quieter now, almost defensive.

The weight of her words sank in, and I realized how vulnerable she must have felt admitting that.

Since she wouldn't turn to me, I decided to go to her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, softly as I looked into her puffy eyes.

"Because it's embarrassing," she admitted, still not looking at me.

Her expression was guarded, but her eyes betrayed her fear.

"It's not embarrassing," I said firmly. "In fact...it's even more special."

"I don't want special!" She snapped, finally looking at me.

"Why not?" I asked, not understanding.

She sat up.

"Look Cassian, I know you think I'm this cold person who can switch off their emotions whenever they want, but you're wrong," she told me.

"Although I don't show it all the time, I'm just as sensitive as you and I-"

She took a deep breath.

"I can't have anything special with you because I'll fall for you even harder and when things are over with us-"